August 28, 2011

Being Watched


How curvy is too curvy? For comfort, that is. For me, this dress on its own makes me look definitely too curvy for me to feel comfortable walking down the street.

They say that if you’ve got it, flaunt it. However, not only do I have a sizeable and well-rounded rear, I also have sizeable and well-rounded fears of… well, lusty stares. I much prefer when men look at me and feel intrigued by how I look, rather than them being openly reminded of what shapes are underneath my clothes.


I also firmly believe that allure is not necessarily connected to how figure-hugging your dresses are, or how short are your shorts. Sexualising yourselves definitely makes heads turn toward you, but are they the right heads?


There defintely is a dividing line between flirty and slutty, but I think it’s at a different place for each of us. I’m happy to enjoy admiring looks from cute guys, (it’s OK, my Boyfriend is not the jealous type :). For me that’s the dividing line: I wear clothes that inspire looks that make me feel proud, but I don't dress to inspire looks that would make me blush.


What about you? How comfortable are you showing off your curves? How do you feel about stares, catcalls or whistles? 

Dress: Gift, (I’d love to have a dress with a lovely big sailor collar… But as I haven’t run into one yet, I turned a very simple dress into a sailor-y one with the help of a little scarf.) Shoes: Vagabond, Drapey thing: Chinese shop, Silk scarf: second hand, 
Belt: H&M, Watch: second hand from a small watchmaker


Feathers & Freckles said...

I tend to stay away from things that are tight AND short as I think this straddles a fine line between sexy and stripper. I like showing my curves (the few and small ones I have) but I like showing them in a way that is still classy and not provocative. I agree, I would rather invoke a look of allure or intrigue than one of being compared to a slab of meat. While I appreciate a man glancing at me coyly, I don't feel comfortable with stares/catcalls/whistles... although I can't remember the last time any of those were done to me, thankfully.

Sarah said...

If I am going to wear something that is revealing--low cut, short, etc.--then the rest of the outfit must not be. This is also why I asked my sister if my outfit yesterday made me look like a hooker. I don't have a problem with any men looking at me ever, so I'm probably not as conscious of it as you. But I DO get leered at while working in my baggy, tacky polo and pants. Hmm... there is probably a lesson in here somewhere.

ruthflo said...

I hate being chatted up, looked at across a bar, wolf whistled at or made to feel uncomfortable. However I do like to wear short dresses and shorts - but I like to think in a classy and respectable manner. If the dress is very short; then opaque tights and flat shoes. Only short shorts in summer and I always keep my neckline covered if I have my legs out (since my legs are so pale - I always have to wear tights anyway!). Short shorts and a big baggy jumper with some heels is always a good look :)

BoulevarddelaMadeleine said...

Great post and topic to address. I always joke around with my boyfriend because I never dress for him - so to speak. Meaning, I don't dress for guys. I'm not really a Kim K. type of girl-revealing garments. Tight dresses and plunging necklines are too in your face and give off this "trying too hard" vibe .
I also say I dress more for women because I feel women generally appreciate style more so then guys. And I can wear my oxfords with A-line dresses.
However, I do wear short shorts and skirts. This is because I am 5'1 and longer hemlines makes me look stumpy. So I try to down play the short skirt/short by an overall professional look. Such as a tweed mini skirt and a gingham button down shirt.
And I also admit from time to time I will wear that sexy little dress just to make the BF happy:)

Nikki said...

Great post! Whenever the boyfriend says he loves my curves, I ask him which curves he's talking about. Because really, I don't have them. The reasons why men could be staring at me are my long legs and my ginger hair. My hair truely is what I get most compliments on :)
I don't need anyone else but my boyfriend telling me I look "hot". I dress to feel pretty and comfortable for me, myself and I. not for a random stranger in the street. I feel kind of creeped out when some stranger wistles at me!
Every now and then I'll put on my shorts or a dress that's a little shorter, but I'll never show too much of myself. I don't have any "sexy" clothing, everything in my closet can be categorized as cute and/or feminine :) x

PS: Your guestpost is up ^^

Madeline Quaint said...

I know what you mean - feminine doesn't have to be overly sexual at all!

Madeline Quaint said...

Absolutely true - women appreciate your style more than your overall allure, which is what men seem to pick up on.
I always look out for well- or interestingly dressed women on the street, buses or trams - and after all, I spend a lot of time on blogs where I do the same. :)

Madeline Quaint said...

Haha, he definitely isn't jealous. Sometimes I wish he was, just a little! :)

I don't mind being looked at - what I don't like is when it crossed the line to being ogled. Even street workers' whistles make me happy most of the time. :)

Madeline Quaint said...

It's a great tip, Ruth, accentuating only one "risky"part of your body.

Madeline Quaint said...

Absolutely agreed.

Ah, not driving but taking public transport and walking everywhere in a capital city does make you see what your outfit invokes in the general public. It seems like roadworkers are never busy enough not to scan pedestrians for cute girls. If you miss catcalls, just walk past them. :)

Sarah said...

I wish that happened to me. Haha.

El Sep 1, 2011, a las 3:02 PM, "Disqus" <> escribió:

Feathers & Freckles said...

Ohh I remember those days. When I lived in San Francisco I would walk/take public transit everywhere and I remember feeling like a piece of meat standing on the train at times. Ugh. And you are SO right about roadworkers... can we say nasty?!

Madeline Quaint said...

Maybe it's in their job description or something - a global job description that applies in every country of the world. I wish my profession was this organised! :)

Jamillah said...

I feel incredibly uncomfortable showing off my curves. Which is why you really won't see me much in form fitting clothes. I love how you phrased this: "I wear clothes that inspire looks that make me feel proud, but I don't dress to inspire looks that would make me blush." It's a perfect sentiment. I really dislike catcalls and so I wear headphones even when I'm not listening to music in order to avoid even turning my head to them.

But I don't really like to judge most women's intentions on their choice to wear more curve revealing clothing. I would hope that it makes them feel as comfortable and as themselves as my loosey goosey clothing feels on me. I would just be really sad if their real motive was cat calls.

Madeline Quaint said...

I agree in not judging how revealing anyone's clothing is - as I said the dividing line is placed differently for each of us. Some girls need more feedback from men, some less.

There are roadworkers at the end of our street this week and a few days ago one of them sang a song to me as I walked past. They are Romany guys so I had no idea what the lyrics were, but I wore a flowy skirt so maybe I reminded him of Romany girls. :)