Freeblogging

I left this space for two months for a few reasons, and the time away made me realise many things about blogging and sharing, and what it became for me, and how I would like it to be...

To put it shortly, it dawned on me that I felt constricted by the unwritten rules of style blogging.

1. The pressure to fit in

So a style blog should consist of three coloumns, with a welcome picture of a smiling blogger and a load of marketing links, and in the middle, and endless stream of perfect quality photographs, of girls who always look prettier than most of the world's girls will ever feel, wearing clothes most of the world would never be able to afford, offering recipes and DIY's photographed perfectly, going on cute dates with their loving husbands, or shining at international events, and when they're asked what their secret is, they always say "you have to create original content".

It used to be a good game to work out how things are done in the style blogging world and playing along the rules. For me this is just not fun anymore. Maybe I'm a cynic, but the time has come when I don't believe all this is either original or honest.

2. Projecting the perfect life

Are you really that happy? Is everything really that pretty?
What is more important, to show an image of perfect romance/contentment/success/beauty or to feel it, live it? Do you really enjoy the currently fashionable "pretty" lifestyle? Isn't this all a marketing surface?

Maybe you only put on the statement 10 inch heels for the duration of the photoshoot, and maybe when you get home "you pig out in yoga pants" and maybe you only cook when you know you'll have to post the photos of it and maybe you get into a fight with your husband every other night?

In Hungary we say: If it's not your shirt, don't put it on. Of course there are plenty of honest bloggers our there - and interestingly 99% of them do not have a huge following. I cannot even bear to look at these "big" blogs anymore, written by girls who turn their lives into advertising space.

3. The hunt for followers

I admit: I did spend a few hours hunting for new blogs and leaving comments and GFC likes, and waited for return visits. Yes, it works. And yes, it's insincere... I couldn't do it more than twice, I felt disgusted with myself. I just cannot bear leading people on, however harmless. It's like a huge, dark mutual secret in the blogosphere, the "I leave a nice comment, you leave me one too, regardless of whether I like your style, I follow you, follow me too, never mind that I'll never click on your new post unless you click on mine". Blogging is not worth that much to make me feel dishonest.

Please don't worry, blog friends, most of my comments were true. But there were times when I really didn't feel like making the rounds of blogs I follow and I still forced myself. And of course I always knew deep inside when the comments I received on my posts were just "mutal kindness" comments.

4. The pressure of not being left behind

"Oh, I cannot post on Sunday, nobody blogs on Sunday, they won't read my post! I have to post when people are around! Let's go and analyse my readership..."
"Oh I must post something, I will lose my readership! The last thing I feel like is photographing myself in the rain, but I must!"
"A style blogger is dead if they're not on Twitter/Facebook/Instagram/Pinterest/Klout! I must bloody join though it's a pain in the butt to keep all these accounts up!"
"Nobody repeats clothing items, I must strive for no repetition either. Never mind that I haven't got enough clothes for this. Really, I must get out and get more clothes!"

It took me ages to actually confront myself and ask: why am I doing this? Is this really me? Is the person I'm becoming someone I'm happy about? Am I more relaxed and content because of my hobby or do I sometimes feel pressurized, inadequate, dishonest?

You might have noticed that my new posts are a little bit different. It's because...  this is where I call quits. The unwritten rules of style blogging are lifted from my shoulders from now on, and I am FREEBLOGGING!

(Oh yes, and as we all know, nobody reads long posts without pictures so if you did get this far: I love you!)

20 Thrifting Disasters

After years of thrifting and some more of reading about the basics of thrifting, then some more admiring others’ amazing thrifted finds, I felt there’s a sore lack of a defining description of all that’s possible to go amiss when it comes to second hand shopping… Here’s a try at collecting some thrifting disasters!

1. When you set out with hours to kill to hunt the best finds, the second hand shops seem to be half empty of merchandise and you never find anything worthwhile.

2. However, if you just pop in with 10 minutes to kill before your train leaves, suddenly there are about 20 different items you don’t have time to try on.

3. And they change the full stock the day after, so you’ll never see them again.

4. Similarly, if you take a friend with you who always comments on what great stuff you find in thrift stores, when the two of you go together there are only lame denim skirts with pink trim and burgundy polyester blazers from the 90s.

5. Whatever amazing displays they put in the shop window are never for sale or have already been sold.

6. For some mysterious reason, this out-of-bounds window display always includes a clothing item you have been hunting for for months, like the perfect pencil skirt or a mint coloured blazer, or the cutest dress with a Peter Pan collar.

7. Anyway, you go in and hunt around. However, you always have to realise that when the size and the cut is perfect, the material or the colour are bound to be hideous.

8. Similarly, when the material and the colour are perfect, the size and the cut are hideous.

9. When something is a gorgeous, saturated hue, the colour is bound to be bleeding. You may convince yourself in the shop that the original owner must have lost weight, that’s why they donated the item, but deep down you know you will have to handwash that damn gorgeous blouse from now on until you donate it yourself.

10. “That lovely blouse is torn by the seam? I’ll sew it up in no time! Let’s get it.” (This happened 2 years ago and you still haven’t sewn it up.)

11. “That gorgeous skirt? It’s a bit too long but oh, I will alter it, no big deal!” (It’s been 3 years and now you actually use it as a shoe rag.)

12. “That huge shirt? The material is so pretty, I’ll totally make cushions-dolls-bookbinds-whatever from it.” (You have a whole drawer full of these and you don’t even own a sewing machine.)

13. If you spot a great colour and promising texture from afar, by the time you get there, another thrifter has it in her grubby hands and it’s an original Chanel blazer. 

14. In your size.

15. If you spot a well-known label and get there first, it surely has greasy stains, or moth-holes, or comes in such a small/huge size it’s impossible to alter.

16. There are plenty of beautiful purses to be found in second hand shops, but the most beautiful ones have an indelible smell hanging around them that you cannot get rid of, however hard you try. One option left – carry the purse around but never open it. Which is sort of like carrying a cushion around the city. Pretty, but pretty useless.

17. When you find something that’s missing a button, it’s bound to be a coat with buttons coated in the material of the original item. So it’s impossible to find a matching one and you have to change all of the buttons.

18. Your coat is of course double breasted and has 20 buttons on front and an extra 10 on the cuffs.

19. Finally you have chosen some pretty amazing stuff that seem to be fitting you well. You go up to pay when you realize that you don’t have enough cash, they don’t accept credit cards and the next ATM is a 10 minute walk away. The shop closes in 5 minutes.

20. Of course this shop has a policy never to set aside items for anyone. The perfect garment you had to leave there will haunt your dreams for years to come.

Now is the time to admit it, you’ve experienced at least one of the above!

Do you have any more to add to the list? I’m keen to hear about your thrifting disaters. :)

(Clip art used above by Amy Morby)

Bloggers and Bridges

What a busy week! Lots of new experiences, lots of new people!






































Let me introduce Carina, who's a German blogger behind the Bad Taste Toast blog. She's visiting Hungary on business, and being a lovely girl that she is, she suggested a blogger meetup!





We met for coffee and cakes last week, and got on so well (even without mentioning blogs) that we decided we should meet up for a stroll and picture taking in the weekend. Let me tell you, it's amazing to walk around, see a great photo spot and having someone with you who understands your enthusiasm and even takes your pictures! :D






































Obviously gritty backgrounds are my weakness. What can I say, I love rust. :)







































Carina's favourite Budapest bridge is the lovely green Freedom Bridge, so we headed over to snap some photos overlooking the Danube. Playing tourist in your own city - what a great way to spend the weekend. Suddenly you see well-known sights differently!




























































Then we walked up Gellért Hill and agreed that the weather was simply perfect, not too cold, not too hot... Ideal for sightseeing as the skies were so clear.





















We stayed on the top of the hill, looking down at the city and discussing blogging and other things until the sun started to set, then we strolled down the hill towards Elizabeth Bridge bathed in warm light, and decided that this definitely wasn't our last meeting. In fact, we're planning another one this week, while Carina is in Budapest.

Carina, thank you for the great pictures and the great times!
Check out Carina's blog on her take on our meetup and whimsical, fun style!





















My first ever blogger meetup was a definite success. Looking forward to more to come. Any of you visiting Budapest this summer? :)

Wearing: Bag, brooches and rings from Jojó Art Shop, Scarf from Bahia, Earrings from an art market, Takko jeans, thrifted jacket and top, shrug from a Chinese shop, Doc Martens. 

All brill pictures of me by Carina! Editing and other photos by me.

A Beginning and an Ending

A nice blogger asked me to design a cartoon of a girl playing dress up to use for her blog header. She wanted something pink and blue, but not baby-ish, and preferably a little girl who looks like her. This is what I came up with!

Unfortunately you can't check how much the drawing resembles her as by the time I finished the design, she decided she will give up blogging... This is really sad, as her blog was a nice one and I was looking forward to seeing it evolve! Also, now this little doodle won't get used for anything much. I thought I'll at least post it here. If you fancy using it for something, for instance as an illustration, feel free, just link back to me! Drop me an e-mail and I send it to you in a bigger size. :)

Oh, and don't forget my blog's Facebook, I'm rather enjoying playing around with it! :)

Invitation to Discuss and a Red Fish

Dear Readers, Picture Viewers, Random Blog Finders,

I proudly present the new commenting system on my blog, Disqus! You might have seen it over at Kendi's blog, or Sarah's, who actually helped me with some useful tips in installing. The most useful of them definitely being "don't panic". :)

I would like to thank each and every one of you who left me comments, followed me or e-mailed me so far, it's been a wonderful experience, starting blogging and meeting so many nicer than nice people all over the world! From now on, connecting will be even easier, it will be much easier for you to find my answers (or anyone else's) to your comments, and if you feel like, you can reply. That possibly means a start of a conversation! How great is that?

Hopefully the change to the new system will work fine, but please e-mail me if something doesn't seem to be working, or the settings aren't practical, or something along these lines.

To celebrate, let me include this picture Zsófi Raffay took of me last week, needless to say, she's brilliant, and this picture is so much more me than the photos I'm trying to snap of myself. The fish I'm holding is a recurring star in her photography, she hands them to her models to see what they'd do with it, sometimes with hilarious results. :)

Looking forward to reading your comments and answering them too! See you soon! :)

Shapes and Sizes

Let me ask you to look at the pictures below, and see what your first thought is!

When I first saw this spread in this month's Hungarian Glamour magazine, I thought: Why would they publish two almost identical pictures of the same model in the same clothes?

And then I read the text and understood. The model on the right is size 36, the one on the left is size 42. They are wearing the same clothes, only of course in their own respective sizes. This is where the message definitely hit home.

As you know, I started my blog only recently and really enjoyed getting to know new bloggers all over the planet and the supportive nature of this community. I wondered how I could get involved more. I noticed many established bloggers have accounts on fashion community websites like chictopia and lookbook. So I went on and created an account at one of these. And proceeded to go through a proper crisis of faith within the next hour.

As I checked the popular users and looks, I felt more and more fat, old, and plain uncool. This shouldn’t work like this – I thought – why should I feel unwanted in a community I believed to be inclusive? Am I so naïve I didn’t realise what goes on behind the façade? (Wow, two foreign characters in one sentence. Anyway.)

As I thought about the bloggers I follow and the ones I just got to know in the past two weeks, I made my mind up. What sort of community do I want to belong to? The one that excludes me, looks down on me and makes me feel unwelcome even if I'm a little bit different? Or a crowd that is accepting, connection based, who welcome those of ALL shapes and sizes, and encourage every opinion? And who dare to look different, even, god forbid, imperfect?

The choice is easy if you ask me and if you look at Márk Viszlay’s great photos in Glamour Hungary. Beauty isn’t the requisite of the young and thin, despite popular belief, and those bloggers who dare to be different, who dare to be imperfect are my kind of people. So I deleted my account at the fashion community website and keep looking out for refreshing ideas from all around the globe, from bloggers with integrity.

What about you, have you gone through similar feelings when you started blogging? Do you still feel unwanted in the blogger community for whatever reasons?

Let’s discuss and build a community that is based on the visual, but kept going by what’s underneath!

(Disclaimer: The photos don’t belong to me, but to Glamour Hungary and Márk Viszlay. If you are the owner and wish to have them removed, contact me. Sorry for the poor scans.)